One more sleep!

Hello blog-land!

Things have been a little crazy! My surgery is TOMORROW! Insane.

I’ve been preparing like crazy (as much as I can) for the big day and I still feel unprepared. There is a lot to think of and I’m trying to remember it all, but I think my brain might explode it is working that hard!

I’ve been doing the pre-op Optifast diet for two weeks now and I have lost less than I’d wanted to…but I suppose this is the whole reason I need the surgery! Hubby has been doing it to support me (and for himself) and has lost around 12kgs.  He’s pretty awesome.

My pre-op meal plan is as follows:

Breakfast – Vanilla Optifast shake with half a teaspoon of coffee. It tastes like an iced coffee and is actually delicious!

Lunch – Optifast Chocolate Bar. It kind of tastes like a space food stick. Not bad, not awesome either.

Dinner – At least 2 cups of approved non-starchy vegetables, cooked with a spoon of oil. My favourite has been Mushroom Stroganoff with either Slendier noodles (noodles made from vegetables) or cauliflower rice.

After Dinner -Optifast Shake or Bar. Usually a Chocolate shake.

If I feel like a snack I have diet jell, raw broccoli  or carrot sticks.

Stir-fried veggies with cauliflower rice. Yummo!

I’m actually pleasantly surprised by how little I’ve struggled. I really thought I’d fail…but I didn’t! I made cupcakes and muffins with the boys and didn’t even lick the spoon! Willpower.

They're not pretty, but the boys loved them. I didn't even have a taste! #willpower

Hubby has been my rock. I definitely would have struggled without his support.

The boys are going well.  DJ is rolling around the floor like crazy and Toby is getting his daily bump on the head from being too adventurous and hurting himself.

Marky’s surgery went really well for the most part. The Tonsillectomy went flawlessly. The Adenoidectomy went ok, they only did a partial removal as they found he has a short palate. They also discovered he has a Bifid Uvula – that dangly thing at the back of his throat is forked! Only 2% of the population have them and they are often signs of a partial cleft palate! So there you go! I honestly don’t know if it will cause any issues for him, I’ll be sure to ask at his follow up appointment. His hernia repair also went really well and he now has an ‘innie’, much to his disgust.

Piggy and Frankie waiting for their Marky to get out of surgery.

The only hiccup we had was with the tear duct clearance – the one I’d expected to be smooth. They weren’t able to clear the right tear duct and have referred us to a surgeon in Sydney to have another surgery done. They said something about putting a tube in for a few months to create a passage way. I haven’t had the appointment in Sydney yet so I really don’t know much about it. Hopefully it isn’t too major and things are finished for that little man for a while.

Anyway I’d best go and get packed for tomorrow. Big day. New life.

Wish me luck!

Today’s little wins:

Mumma: Stuck to my pre-op diet like a boss! No breaks!

Biggest-Little: Got through surgery like a champion. He fell asleep on me at one point in the hospital. I’ve missed that.

Middle-Little: Decided he wanted to spend some extra time with his mumma this morning and woke me up at 03:30am – silver linings, right?

Smallest-Little: Rolling here, there, and everywhere. He’s a happy goofy little man.

The Patriarch

He took my hand in his
It looked so small.
His, calloused, petrol soaked hands
Worked and tanned,
Protected mine, keeping me safe.

A smoke hung from his mouth
The smell was all-consuming,
I didn’t mind, in fact, I basked in it
I can still smell it now, it breaks me.
Triggering the memory of an easier time

A maroon polo shirt on his back.
He would give it to me if I asked.
If it was all he owned.
He’d give it all for a smile,
For his family, with love.

His voice, earthy and wise,
Cracked from age and cigarettes,
More beautiful to my ears
Than a thousand symphonies.
To hear it again would be bliss.

We’re broken now,
Split and corrupt.
He was the glue.
He would be ashamed,
Looking down disgusted.

His one and only disrespected.
This wasn’t his way.
He stood for family, loyalty, love.
And that’s what we remember,
Though some forget, we will fight,

We will fight to honour him.

Dark skies and high hopes

Just when you think it couldn’t possibly rain anymore the sky goes ahead and surprises you.

It’s dark and miserable – much like my mood today. I’m weaning from breastfeeding because I start my Optifast pre-surgery diet tomorrow and I’m in serious pain!

Middle-Little helping Smallest-Little with his bottle. Such a great big brother.

I mean, if I move my arm in the wrong way I’m in tears. This sucks. I’m hoping so hard that I wake up drastically improved in the morning because tomorrow is the big day – Marky (Biggest-Little) has his surgeries tomorrow.

Adenotonsilectomy, hernia repair, and tear duct clearance. Poor kid. We have to be at the hospital at 7am and he goes in at 8am for surgery. Then an overnight stay. I just hope his breathing improves, I hate hearing him struggle at night.

I hope it’s easy to stick to the Opti diet in hospital. And I hope it tastes okay! Hubby is doing Opti with me and we’re having roast lamb as a ‘farewell’ feast – thanks father-in-law!

I wish I could send you all the smell of this delicious dinner – but I can’t- it’s all mine!

Today’s little wins:

Mumma: Successfully breastfed my smallest bub for 5 months. It’s not as long as I’d originally hoped for but every feed counts! After formula feeding my first, I feel very grateful to have had a chance to experience breastfeeding with my next two. I’ll definitely miss it.

Biggest-Little: Sang a beautiful ‘I love baby’ song for his new baby cousin.

Middle-Little: His vocabulary is growing in leaps and bounds. He’s a smart cookie.

Smallest-Little: Enjoyed steamed broccoli the other night! Such a goof.

Broccoli monster.

Two days ago

Two days ago I witnessed something life changing.

Two days ago I watched my niece being brought into this world.

Two days ago I watched my baby sister become a mother.

My sister fell pregnant in early 2015. Our whole family was heartbroken for her and my brother-in-law when they found out at their 12 week scan that their much wanted babe had passed away.

They put their baby-making mission on hold for a while until her health was back on track. After dealing with two surgeries for her miscarriage and then surgery to clear up endometriosis her body had been through the wringer – and so had her spirit.

They decided to go on a holiday for their wedding anniversary in September of 2015. Before they left I suggested she take a pregnancy test as I’d noticed a few things here and there. She brushed it off and said it was practically impossible, so off they flew to sunny Queensland to celebrate two years as husband and wife.

I still remember the moment that I found out that they were expecting again. I was eating dinner and my brother-in-law sent me a Facebook message. I opened it, expecting a picture of the beach, or a meal at the Hard Rock, or a rollercoaster. Instead I saw a very positive pregnancy test with two beautifully strong pink lines. My fork hit my plate with a clang.

Those beautiful lines

My sister and I were pregnant at the same time for a while there. It was so special to share that experience together. And when the day came for me to meet my darling Daniel, she was right there, keeping me laughing, foraging for edible hospital food and taking photos and videos.

Two days ago she became a mum. When we were teenagers she told me she didn’t want children. What a relief that she met my incredible brother-in-law and changed her mind. She was made for pregnancy, she was made for labour, and she was definitely made to be a mother.

There is no way to accurately describe how proud I am of my baby sister (no, I’ll never stop calling her that). She has faced so much more in her 24 years of life than some people face in a lifetime. She has overcome numerous obstacles and grown into a strong, independent woman.

Two days ago. A lot changes in two days. Two days ago I watched my baby sister have a beautiful, peaceful labour. I watched as she held her beautiful daughter to her chest. I watched the new daddy, overwhelmed with emotion, as he realised he had a daughter.  I watched as both of their eyes changed, the moment that they recognised that their life was changed forever, that they would go above and beyond for this tiny person that needed them so. I watched them exchange looks that showed their love deepening, evolving into a different style of love.

Two days ago. I love two days ago. I love that all of our lives changed two days ago. I love that I was there two days ago.

It’s amazing what can change in two days.