I completely bombed my essay.
You know, I knew I would. It wasn’t good. It’s my first one and I just didn’t ‘get it’. I also have a thousand and one excuses about why I failed, some valid, some a bit of a stretch, but it doesn’t matter. Bottom line is, I did fail.
But it’s totally okay because it was the submission of the fist draft so I get another shot at sucking! Yaaaay #sarcasm.
This morning was the first childcare day of the year for Biggestlittle. We walked in at the same time as the staff who organises placements and she said hi and asked where the other two boys were. I reminded her that they only come on Mondays.
The glorious words that escaped her mouth changed everything. She said that I should bring them in because it was quiet and they missed out coming on Monday due to the public holiday!
This past week I have finally stopped procrastinating.
Instead of letting my anxiety rule when I think ‘It is too hard, don’t bother, people will just laugh, you can’t do it’ I’ve decided to think ‘Who cares? You’ve got this!’
Who cares if people laugh when I rock up to the gym with my thunder thighs and bubble butt? Isn’t that what the gym was originally created for? I mean waaaay back. Back when they were about losing weight and getting fit, and not about looking the part, or having a like-worthy status update.
There are three things that have put me in the fitness frame of mind. In no particular order they are:
Someone asked the question today ‘What are your thoughts on people who get weight loss surgery?‘
The replies were mostly supportive, with a couple that were less so. I couldn’t go past this comment from a lovely lady (who gave me her permission to share this).
It is perinatal depression and anxiety awareness week. #bePNDaware
If you’re new to my blog you won’t need to look far to see that I’ve been touched by this beast. If you’re a regular around here then you’re probably sick of hearing about it. #sorrynotsorry I’m a huge believer in spreading awareness about this topic and sharing my personal fight is the best way for me to do this.
Today Mister 3 was practising his writing.
He was attempting to write the word ‘mum’ after successfully completing his brothers name. M was easy because it starts his name and he’s pretty much got that one sorted.
The letter U was new to him, so he needed some help. “It’s like a little bucket” I said to him, trying to make it relatable. The next words he said made me laugh and cringe at the same time.
“Look mummy, it looks like your boobies”.
Brilliant.
When I was a young girl -I honestly couldn’t tell you how young- I remember hearing something come out of my mums mouth that would stay with me forever.
Mum and dad were having what they called ‘a disagreement’ – one of those stupid little arguments couples have over nothing. It was so insignificant that I don’t have the foggiest clue what it was about, but mum felt the need to turn on the sass and educate my dear father on something important.
She said “My father taught me a long time ago that every person in this world is entitled to an opinion. I am allowed to have my own opinion and you might not agree with it, but that’s too damn bad“. My mum is kind of a badass #sorrynotsorry
She was right. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts, their own feelings, their own opinions. If we all sing the same note in the choir then we will never have harmony.
Sitting here in the debris of the ‘Mummy Blogger War’ as it was so called, it’s quite clear to me that the simple act of sharing an opinion is not actually so simple.
What wrong turn have we made to end up here? Are we all so concerned about showing loyalty that we’ve sacrificed our ability to show individuality? Are we too afraid of sharing our opinions for fear of backlash? Sadly, this is understandable. People are very quick to mistake differing opinions for a call to arms.
I watched as a woman got devoured by blind hate and ignorant attacks. And why did this happen? She shared her opinion. On her very own blog. She didn’t play an away game. No, she was home. And in they swarmed, stinking up the place with hypocrisy, and causing possible brain damage from reactive hard-handed face palms, with comments along the lines of ‘I don’t actually know what’s going on but I’ve got your back anyway’ .
It was like High-school. All the cool kids ganging up and beating on the slightly goofy kid that didn’t conform to the social norms. The one that dressed how they wanted to dress, the one that was proud of being smart, the one that the cool kids were secretly afraid of, because they knew that one day they’d be refilling the hotdogs at the local 7/11 while the ‘loser’ was wildly successful in life and love.
In fact it might have been worse. Grown women are brutal. They have no one to answer to but themselves. But just like a three year old who thinks he rules the roost -we need limits.
The key is respect. Every person in this world is entitled to an opinion. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to like it. Hell, you don’t even have to take it in, but you do have to respect it as a basic human right.
One day I will tell my boys what my mother said, because I think it’s important. We cannot lose this. We cannot lose our diversity. We need to fight for our right to an opinion, and we need to support those who are being stifled.
I don’t need to think the same as everyone else. I don’t need to conform, and I’d rather not try.
I’d rather not be an unopinionated drone.
#idratherbeme
At what point do we need to recognise that we’re a little lost?
When you can snap your fingers and a horde of angry women attack someone on your behalf, do you think that perhaps you’re a tad out of control? That maybe the power has gone to your head?
At what point do we need to recognise that obsession has overcome us?
When you can reduce someone to tears because your leader chucked a tantrum? Someone who put herself out there with her opinion? Someone you don’t even know, and don’t care to know, because your boss gave the order to attack?
This isn’t right. We are all individuals, with our own brains, our own passions, our own talents. Why have we become so reliant on other people? Have we lost that ‘women’s intuition’ we’ve all heard so much about?
It seems that these days we are becoming less and less like separate humans and more like herds of sheep, sticking together and just copying our neighbour.
We don’t have to be this way. I’m not saying we shouldn’t look to other people for advice and guidance. I’m simply saying that we need to continue to think for ourselves. This herd mentality is draining.
Don’t be ashamed of being different. Don’t be ashamed if you parent differently, or learn differently, or think differently. We spend so much time encouraging our children to embrace their uniqueness but we are so determined to fit in that we ignore our own advice.
Today I saw a pretty vicious attack on a fellow blogger. It was lead by someone who prides herself on ‘building women up’. I see that only applies to her followers and not those that have a differing opinion from her.
I know that this woman has a lot of followers and I think it’s wonderful that she has made so many other mothers feel great about themselves (even though I disagree with the way she goes about it, I don’t need to be a queen #idratherbeme), but today was a disgusting display of her abusing her social media power.
So before she uses her loyal followers as pawns again, before she attempts to tear another woman down, I have one small suggestion for her.
Be the woman you ask your fans to be.
Sometimes being a blogger can be bigger than what you’d think.
When you start a blog and you have a plan for the general theme, you don’t always realise what it will turn into.
You want to be real. You want to be honest. Sometimes you’ll have a line drawn and you’ll stay close, but never cross. Sometimes you don’t worry about a line at all and you’ll say or do whatever gets you attention.
I don’t see the point in that.
I’ve seen other mother bloggers posting things that most would consider neglect, under the guise of ‘being real’. I think that’s bull. You can be real, you can be raw, you can be relatable without being neglectful. And attention can be good or bad – why would anyone aim for the latter?
Your child gets nits – I’m pretty sure that’s a rite of passage. Do you treat it? If they come back day after day, do you treat it again and again even though it’s annoying as hell? Or do you take a photo, upload it to social media and say it’s ok because they’re loved?
No brainer, right?
If we keep bowing down to people doing neglectful things because they make us feel human, we are never going to do better. How many children are going to be hurt by this? How many kids will sit in dirty nappies because their mums were told it’s fine?
I’m not a perfect mum. If you have ever read any of my other posts you’ll know I struggle. I really do. My kids eat nuggets and chips (McDaddies) too often. We don’t leave the house a whole lot due to my anxiety. I yell more than I should. Mount Foldmore is slowly plotting to take control of the house.
We all have hard times and it feels great to know there are other mums out there who get it, who are dealing with the same issues, who are also pulling their hair out, or who just want to quit this parenting thing and run away to a new life in Hawaii.
But we don’t have to settle. When you know better you do better. If my son sits in a nappy for too long because I got busy, or because it completely slipped my mind – I’m not going to give in and just keep letting it happen. I’m going to try to do better. I’ll still fail sometimes, that’s life. But I will try.
It’s wonderful that so many women are feeling less alone, because we aren’t alone, we are all dealing with the same tantrums, the same sibling rivalry, the same exhaustion. I just worry about what this need to be the same is costing us
We are all strong, incredible, independant women.
We are more than who we follow.
We are more than how we parent.
We are more than we even think we are.
We are more.
The joys of 3 boys 